The Wall Finally Broke: The Lessons I Learned From Failing

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Last week, I learned about the law of attraction and how if you put something out into the universe, the universe will respond. Now, I totally thought this was a load of bull because, let’s be real, we are the masters of our own destiny …. right? Well, a couple Tuesdays ago I was lamenting to a friend of mine about how depleted I felt because I was so miserable at my job. I equated it to banging my head against a wall and the wall was showing no sign of damage nor was it causing enough pain that it would force me to stop. It was only a matter of time until one of them did. The next day, my boss called me in for a heart to heart. By the end of the conversation and a parting of ways was settled upon. Day after that, I happened upon a free week long teleconference by Christine Hassler that brought together experts on how to “upgrade” the various aspects of your life.

Call it coincidence or call it the power of the law of attraction, either way I found myself recuperating from the all too common challenge that all people, especially 20-somethings face: failure. Learning how to overcome and build back better from failure is crucial to succeeding in life, especially for those of us who aspire to be influential in this world. It is not enough to have excellent ideas or develop a beautiful vision, but truly successful leaders know how to learn from failing. I have seen this advice given by several thought leaders, and often thought about how that could possibly relate to me.

Reflecting back on my professional experience, I realized that I struggled to bring the best version of myself to work and allowed myself to fall into a vortex of misery and whining. I avoided making new friends and focused solely on how I was stuck in this awful situation with no solution. As awful as it was, I can now say I learned so much about myself and what parameters I need to be successful.  Some of those parameters are: a supportive and positive work environment, the sun (I guess you really can’t take Florida out of the girl), and the ability to connect with diverse cultures.

What about you? How did you overcome a failure and what lessons did you learn from that experience? What are some parameters that you need to be successful?

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Our World is Changing, but Are We?

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I went to a community discussion several weeks ago in anticipation as of the DOMA decision announcement. And as we discussed gay rights abroad, gay rights at home, and the right to marry, among other things, one of the panelists reminded us that nothing was permanent. He pointed to the Roe v. Wade decision, a Supreme Court decision that was seen as a huge victory for women’s rights. Forty years later, and across the country legislation to restrict a woman’s ability to have an abortion is becoming increasingly popular, making Roe v. Wade practically irrelevant.

As the rest of the week unfurled, other historic events took place in the marble halls that house our federal government ranging from removing the protections of minority voter rights in the Supreme Court to immigration policy reform in the Senate. All of these momentous decisions will have direct impacts on our daily lives….eventually. What actually impacts us today didn’t even get discussed before Congress took off for their summer homes: student loan debt.

Caring about what happens in D.C., let alone our state capitals, is time consuming and often so depressing that it is just better to find more funny cat memes (guilty!) But, sparring with your Facebook frenemy over the role of government in our lives isn’t particularly helpful either. What happened to the book burning, thunderous protesting, in-your-face statements of how we feel about our government? Are we unknowingly living in scarily realistic version of the Hunger Games? Or is it that we have given up on the system before we even tried to change it?

 I always think back on what a friend of mine said when John Mayer came out with “Waiting on the World to Change.” While I kept turning up the car radio whenever John’s magical voice would grace the speakers, my friend Amit would turn it down in disgust and say, “Why do we have to wait for change when we can make it happen now?”

As this is something I struggle with, what are the best ways to get involved in changing the world? How do you even pick which one to devote your time to?

The Internship – the unexpected lesson

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Turning an idea into a reality is often easier said than done. Everyday I open up my Twitter account or favorite news page to inspiring stories of people who are turning their back on conventional life paths to pursue their dreams.

Although these success stories kickstart my little dream machine, the logical side of me starts to wonder: could that really happen for anyone? Or are there a set conditions that allow these “everyday” people to rise to the top and live out their dreams?

From a Millennial’s perspective, I desperately want to believe that hard work and belief will pay off (a la every Disney movie ever made.) But it has become increasingly hard for me to buy into all of that, especially when today’s reality is terrifying and ridden with strife.

This debate was played out in the feel-good summer movie: The Internship with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn. As two middle aged workers refusing to become obsolete, Wilson and Vaughn take internships with Google in an attempt to turn their lives around. Critics will note that the film followed a similar storyline to Wedding Crashers (a favorite of mine) and other Owen + Vince films, but The Internship warmed my heart by showing how the “entitled” millennials have really been robbed of their ability to dream with reckless abandon and believe that they can achieve those dreams.

Well, much like The Internship I hope to find real people who have achieved their dream lives by opening their own businesses or starting their own non-profits. I plan to share their experiences and their insights so that we can learn and be inspired by the changemakers of tomorrow.